The night before dentists

Meggie gets at least one tooth pulled tomorrow. We're leaning toward one. The cost and inconvenience of another possible extraction at a later date are worth it if she can maintain a more natural bite for some period of time. The patient understands the procedure and is taking it in stride. We showed her the tooth in the mirror yesterday and pointed out how it is turning gray and sick. We stressed to her that it could hurt her other teeth if it stayed in. Today Meggie expressed her displeasure at the "sick tooth," which she assured me she did not like and was willing to have taken out.

Today, Michele sent me this post on a very popular blog. Dooce.com is not solely about parenthood, but, as is the case for many blogging parents, children pervade the posts as they do our daily doings. Michele sent me the entry to call my attention to the very insensitive e-mail from one of Dooce's readers (questioning her about why she has not yet potty-trained her daughter) as well as to a difficult medical problem Dooce's daughter is suffering (making potty-training impossible for the time being). The post and the inciting e-mail made me think and made me want to send an e-mail to someone I don't know. It's probably lost in the Internet ether, but it sums up how I feel tonight -- fairly sanguine and resigned. So, wishing you all the best with the issues you're facing, here it is:

Subject: Potty-brained and sympathetic
Jan 25, 2007 3:54 PM
Hello, Heather, from another Heather, but this one in Alaska. Our states share an infamous distinction, by the way. Utah and Alaska are the only two states in which women have an average of three children. Every other state boasts two. Make of it what you will. :o)

I must confess, I am not a habitual dooce reader, although I have enjoyed all the doocery my friends have forwarded me. I was sent today's post, and I thought I might be able to add a little thought, which is surprising, given the 199 comments that have already cropped up beneath your post. I, too, have a 3-year-old little girl. And I also have a 5-month-old little one now. And if I've learned anything from their various gastric adventures, it's this:

Other mothers whose kids are potty trained love to lord it over the uninitiated. It's as if, after the kid sheds her diaper, the parents gain entrance into some exclusive club. What's the deal, I want to know. Do they get to sit in a special lounge at the airport? Maybe flashing the potty premier pass entitles them to spend layovers imbibing champagne and caviar-encrusted goldfish crackers. Wouldn't that be nice. I haven't received my pass in the mail yet, so I wouldn't know.

Personally, I found potty training to be one of the most frustrating operations EVER. And I sometimes wonder whether we might not have waited longer and spared ourselves many cleanups. But my husband and I were sure that Meggie, what we call our eldest, Morgan Grace, was ready, so we pressed ahead.

When she finally did the deed, it was three months before her 3rd birthday. And there was much jubilation. But then came the gnashing of teeth. Two months after her triumph, Meggie and all our potty-club pretensions came crashing down. The kiddo fell off the potty (I think she was trying to inspect the bottom of the toilet seat and chewing a fruit snack while doing her business) and hit her mouth on the toilet. That was in November. And tomorrow, we will be going to the dentist's, where my little girl, whose toothy grin has always been the most prominent feature of her face, will have one of her front teeth pulled. The tooth was damaged in the fall, and no matter how we tried (countless consultations with several dentists), it's clear that one tooth is dying, and it has to go.

Why am I telling you this? Well, 1) There are benefits to waiting longer before potty-training. We should've perhaps waited till the kid was a little more coordinated and could be trusted to pay attention while climbing the potty stool. And 2) It's just always something with kids. There is always some problem or issue to be resolved.

I sometimes think that, if humans were pets, no one in their right mind would buy one. Can you imagine the pet-store attendant's pitch? Something like, "Well, you're gonna love this little baby. At least I hope so, because she's going to be with you pretty much ... well, forever. And, really, it's a breeze to take care of these guys. You just have to remember a couple of things. Be careful what you feed them, because, depending on the breed, she could break out in hives or scales or some really nasty flatulence if you feed her the wrong foods. I couldn't really say which foods. They're all different. You'll just have to try them all out and see what kind of freaky reactions you get. Oh, and she's going to throw up. A lot. So have fun! No returns, please."

It's always something. With my daughter, first it was the ears. Chronic ear infections despite tubes. Then it was the potty. Would she ever do it? Would she do it before I hurled myself off a cliff? And then, once she pottied, it was the tooth. And on and on it goes into our doddering old age.

We'll keep little Leta in our thoughts, and I know that you, your doctors and the passage of time will sort out her problem. And when you have, she'll potty train beautifully. And for those bad potty-training days, here's a little potty humor taken from our own family blog below.

Best of luck,

-heather